胡适留学日记六六、致C. W. 书

(五月廿九日)


Indeed I have been drifting—farther and farther away from my main purpose. Not without a plausible pretext perhaps, —that is the worst of it. I have long needed a steersman who can set me on the right course. Yet so far no one, except you, has been able to give me what I am surely in need of. For a time I began to see dimly through mine own eyes this drifting, and was alarmed by it. And then this Sino-Japanese Crisis upset the whole thing and once more I found excuses for my irrelevant activities.


You have been very kind. You have done me a great deal of good. I have now determined to live up to what you said to me yesterday…


So much for idle wishing—how


It steals the time! To business now!


To business now!


  〔中译

实际上,吾有点放任自流——正日渐远离吾之主要目标。也许,这主要该归于,吾总会找一个似乎言之有理之借口,——这是最为糟糕的。吾早就需要一位“舵手”,他能指明方向,使吾沿着正确之航线前进。然而,迄今为止,除足下之外,还没有人能给予吾如此之帮助,而这正是吾之所极需的。曾经有一段时间,吾自己开始朦朦胧胧地意识到,吾之所作所为似在放任自流。这使吾惊恐不已。可是,此次中日危机把一切都搅乱了,吾再一次为自己开脱,为吾所干的与吾之志向不相干之活动找到了借口。


足下为人友善,助人为乐,为吾做了许多于吾有益之事。此刻,吾已下定决心,当按昨日足下告吾之良言行事……


一度沉溺于痴心妄想,


蹉跎了多少美妙之岁月!


现在赶快动手!


现在赶快动手!

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