I am a tedious bore, a born liar, a useless fool, an unwelcome guest, and one that does not worth the least of anyone' s care, particularly of you. It is better for me to seal my mouth, kick away my pen, and bury myself in some forgotten place and eat my heart up. Why must I write you? Why? Why? Why? But oh! These rainy days! I'm feeling like a dying dog.
（in some sort of desperation）